call hr writes:
I am sure many of you wonder what on earth does Human Resources do, or even what can it do for my business…?
So, when I was recently asked to present the role of HR to people who really did not know what HR does, I thought there must be an unusual way of doing this without using powerpoint or scaring people using the law and fines! And, this is what I did, I wrote a poem and you will find it below! Please remember, it is a lighthearted approach to explain HR and yes, some aspects may be missing, and no doubt I will cover the bits I have missed over time.
Happy reading.
Human Resources...
What a Charming Idea
It certainly isn’t a company's, panacea
We really should know all that goes on
And be the support you can count upon
Call hr are not of those who should be feared
Give us time and you will soon endear
We are not just contract, discipline and grievance
But we really are a business allegiance
Contracts tick, we will make them fit
Discipline sure, we can reassure
Grievance hinder, it wont be a real dog's dinner
Call hr we are a real winner!
‘So what else do you do?’ I hear you ask
My word you are keen you asked that fast!
So let me tell you of what else we do
And yes we do, get companies out of the pooh
Here we go, the life of hr,
It is not a mystery, but merely the business radar
Let us start with the contract, the main piece that is missed
It holds all the key bits that really will assist
When new people join
Or the right people leave
The contract will guide, protect and appease
Oh and the penalty if it is missed
Companies beware, one does it exist
We recruit, we appraise, we help businesses go far
We develop the talent and that is not gallant
It is merely a key to business success
And we know that because of the business we obsess
We do those checks for the right to work
Not to mention stop criminals take the wrong work
We stop those drivers with points in excess
Driving your vans and cars to impress
Now let us talk money and those finance checks
We want to ensure any company execs
Are clear of their debts and not up to their necks
Maternity, paternity, pension, health care and benefits
All of these form the things that we fix
We advise, we guide, we take risks and we chastise
All to ensure a workplace complies
Redundancy, restructures and just out right poor practice
call hr are the ones that remove the rubbish from best practice
We are pragmatic and real in the advice we provide
And when it seems tough we are a trusted guide
Harassment and Bullying there is really no place
But call hr will help businesses sort out the case
We can do the interview, or mediate it through
But the key thing we do is ensure that any outcome is true
Equality, Diversity really, is key
Anything less, is just lazy
Important to note is discrimination today
Really has no place in the workplace of today
We help to develop a value, principle or two
To ensure there is respect in the company, phew
Believe it or not, this is not all we do
Whatever companies need, we can help, it is true
It is not just policies, law and pay
But it could be anything at the end of the day
We know that people are key to success
And we can help them perform to impress
Engagement, promotion, motivation need care
It just needs a call and we will be there
Call hr are a great team
With so many years of experience between
Not to mention our professional body
Chartered Institute of Personnel Development,
It really is eminent
Don’t let anyone else offer anything less, call hr for the best
The advice we give is pragmatic
It certainly isn’t bureaucratic
We are honest, we are straight and don’t deviate
From the challenge businesses face, and we get their business to a very good place
We keep their business at the front of minds
We are thinking ahead, at all times
We do our best to pre-empt the issues
Rather than commiserate, with the tissues
Thank you for reading this light hearted verse
We certainly hope that you understand our work
Importantly now, go on, and with HR converse!
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