I was at a networking event last week, when I saw an acquaintance.
I won’t call him a friend, and certainly not now.
He was only friendly when he wanted something, sadly.
.
Oh, I see you’re running that course, I wondered if you needed any more tutors…
That workshop you’re doing, I’m happy to come along and chip in if you need any help…
The talk you’re giving, do you need anyone else to contribute?
(You know the type.)
.
Now, don’t get me wrong.
He has expertise, and it’s actually quite impressive, plus he can be interesting.
So it wasn’t the professional aspect of him I found lacking.
The personal part, however…
.
But! I’m always in favour of giving people a chance.
Here was such an opportunity, and, even better, one which could have benefited us both.
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I’m developing a new course, to run alongside Compelling Communication Skills, my Cambridge flagship.
It’s one which will require guests in some of the lectures.
And my acquaintance would have been a strong candidate for a spot.
.
It’s a decent gig.
We pay reasonably well, you get to meet and work with some great people, and you are bestowed with the Cambridge aura too.
Plus, my acquaintance was always lobbying me for work.
So I decided to raise the prospect with him.
.
He was on the periphery of the event, at a table, with a cup of tea, looking at his phone.
Perfectly normal, no problem, it’s what people do.
So I approached, said hello, asked if he minded me sitting down, which he didn’t…
And thus I joined him.
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He looked up, half smiled, albeit in a not entirely welcoming way, then carried on scrolling.
I waited patiently, then, being me, started to find my patience thinning…
So I asked how he was doing.
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Fine thanks, came the reply, and that was it.
Apart from more scrolling. Naturally.
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I marshalled my last remaining reserves of patience, and asked:
So, what have you been up to?
Oh, this and that, the usual, was the less than forthcoming response.
Followed by…
Yes, you guessed it…
More scrolling.
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I gave it a few extra seconds, just to be fair, and maybe even kind.
Then I got back up, and said pointedly:
Ah, there’s someone over there who wanted to talk to me.
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My acquaintance missed the subtle (not) irony (of course), but in fairness…
Did raise a brief hand to wave goodbye.
Before returning to the far more important matter of his scrolling.
.
I wandered off to talk to a group of other people.
And was gratified to find they thought my conversation more interesting than their phones.
.
I didn’t see my acquaintance again.
He could’ve had something very important demanding his attention, of course.
He may not even have been interested in the opportunity I was going to raise.
But, the point is, he’ll now never have the chance to even think about it.
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Yes, I know it's only a small and comical story, if sadly familiar in this modern world of ours.
But the moral of the tale:
Well, that’s rather more significant.