Perhaps you’ve become irritated because they’ve ignored your hints to:
- Leave before they outstay their welcome
- Let you get a word in edgeways
- Improve their work
- Get you the present you wanted (Image removed)
- End a meeting on time
- Or…?
There could be many reasons why they were ‘ignoring’ what you said.
One is that you may be dealing with a ‘literal’ listener.
A ‘literal’ listener is a person who takes everything you say literally. They don’t ‘listen between the lines’ or infer any other meaning than the words you’ve said.
If you visited a ‘literal’ listener and you hinted that you’d like a drink by saying, ‘Gosh! I’m thirsty,’ they are likely to say ‘Oh, really?’
An ‘inferential’ listener, on the other hand, would ask you what you’d like to drink and go and get it for you.
If you asked a ‘literal’ listener to do something and you softened your request or instruction by saying, ‘If you don’t mind’, they would take it to mean they had an option. If they did mind, they wouldn’t do it.
For ‘inferential’ listeners and speakers that can come as quite a surprise.
So how do you deal with a ‘literal’ listener?
- Stop hinting, implying, sugar-coating and being subtle
- You need to be direct about what you want (without being rude)
If you’d like to find out more about how to transform difficult work relationships into effective and fulfilling ones, here’s an option:
How to Deal With Difficult Conversations and Behaviour Assertively Workshop
March 27 2014, Cambridge, 8.45 – 12.30
Are you:
- Avoiding talking about a difficult subject that needs to be aired at work?
- Or maybe you have employees and team members who are difficult to manage?
Then this half-day workshop for managers, owner managers and aspiring managers about how to remain assertive and in control of difficult people situations is for you. Click here for more details
______________________________