Building a rapport is so important.
If you can get on with someone from the start, it paves the way to a strong professional relationship, and often a warm personal bond as well.
Which usually makes life easier, often more lucrative, and always happier.
But how to build a rapport, particularly in these days when so many meetings are online?
Where you don’t have that physicality of handshake, (or fist/elbow bump!), sense of presence, feeling of charisma.
The standard English way of easing into a conversation is, of course, talking about the dear old weather.
And as in the photo, how lovely it’s been as an early autumn blessing.
Anyway, before I get too English on you, back to the point of this blog.
I have a trick I learnt early in my BBC days, which always helps to build a rapport.
We often visited people at their homes or offices to film interviews.
Unsurprisingly, our victim (sorry, guest!) was often nervous and edgy.
To try to ease that, I would spot something which was obviously important to them in the surroundings.
A family photo, or treasured memento were favourite choices.
I would comment on them, ask about them, and usually we would be quickly chatting easily and comfortably.
You can do something similar online.
I met someone for the first time last week via Zoom, and they happened to be wearing a sporting top.
I commented on it, asked about its importance, and it turned out they were a cricketer, a bowler in fact.
We chatted a little about the glorious game, and the rest of the discussion, which was heavily business focused, was all the smoother for it.
I had another meeting a couple of days later when I noticed a distinctive painting on the wall behind my guest.
It was very lovely, I said so, and it turned out she had painted it.
I wasn’t attempting to flatter because I didn’t know she was an artist, but my observation certainly worked in terms of establishing a rapport.
In both cases, Creative Warehouse, my company, was awarded the work we were discussing.
I'm not saying that's entirely down to building a rapport, of course.
Being good at our jobs comes into the equation rather heavily.
But the rapport certainly helped.
Whether it’s what someone is wearing, a picture in the background, the contents of a bookshelf, or whatever…
There’s always something to talk about which can ease a way into your conversation.
As so often in life, just a few seconds spent being human can mean a great deal and help oil the wheels of the world.
Just one word of caution.
You have to be authentic, and genuinely interested in someone to try building a rapport in this kind of way.
I certainly am, being a born nosey chap, and it's always helped me.
But people can instantly spot fakery, and so such efforts can be alienating unless you're sincere.
Finally, a question:
- Do you have any favourite tips for establishing a rapport?
Please me know.
I'd be fascinated to hear some other ideas.