Madeleine Morgan of Growu writes:
If the answer is ‘Yes’, you’re not alone and you may relate to one of these three situations where the ‘fluffy’ stuff turns out to be the ‘essential’ stuff.
I remember delivering communication skills training for the managers in a company which was growing fast and the middle managers were finding it hard to adapt to the fact that their senior managers were no longer in an office nearby. The middle managers felt they didn’t have as much say in the direction of the business as they used to and differences of opinion were harder to resolve. They felt their senior managers had lost touch…that they were setting unrealistic goals, budgets and time frames.
A few months ago I was working with a business owner-manager who had taken on staff for the first time. The kinds of skills she had to bring into the business attracted very different personalities from hers. Her usual ways of expressing herself were suddenly getting defensive reactions that she had never experienced before.
A while ago, I was working with a newly promoted manager who used to be part of the team he was managing. He felt awkward telling team members, who he used to work with as an equal, what to do and some of them took advantage. At the same time his work load was increasing rapidly but his firefighting communication mode was creating more problems than it was solving.
Who knows who was right and who was wrong in these situations – the team members or the managers?
It doesn’t matter…really… because it’s the manager who has the job of getting things done through other people. So it’s the manager who has to take the lead and develop their communications skills faster than their businesses and careers are developing. Lack of skill creates a bottle neck of distrust, stress and even apathy that will eventually strangle your business and/or your career.
These communication skills (negotiation, influencing, presenting, dealing with difficult conversations, mentoring, coaching, conflict management and so on) are often called ‘soft’ skills and are considered ‘fluffy’ stuff compared to learning a trade, studying for a degree or gaining professional qualifications.
Whereas, really, communications skills are ‘hard’ skills with real business and personal benefits. They often involve changing many things we thought we knew about communicating.
And…the consequences of not learning them are even harder to take.
So what can you do about it? Here are 3 tips to make dealing with the ‘hard’ stuff easier:
- If you find yourself blaming someone for how they are acting or communicating with you, look beneath the surface at what’s really causing this. You may need to pick up a mirror rather than a magnifying glass for this!
- If the same problem keeps occuring there’s probably something you don’t know you don’t know and it’s time to find out (see options below (Image removed) ).
- If your team members persist in being difficult despite what you’ve done to improve your communication style, you can manage those team members out of the business with a clear conscience and some good HR advice.
If you’d like to find out more about how to transform difficult work relationships into effective and fulfilling ones, here are two options:
1. How to Deal With Difficult Conversations and Behaviour Assertively Workshop
March 27th 2014, Cambridge, 8.45 – 12.30
Are you:
- Avoiding talking about a difficult subject that needs to be aired at work?
- Or maybe you have employees and team members who are difficult to manage?
Then this half-day workshop for managers, owner managers and aspiring managers about how to remain assertive and in control of difficult people situations is for you. Click here for more details
“One of the most powerful lessons I learnt, is how to deal with difficult people – an invaluable seminar run by Madeleine. This was thought provoking, structured and fun!”
Aegean Thomson, Business Owner
2. If you prefer a 1-2-1 approach try this Free Relationship Success Discovery Session
I have two complimentary spaces for 1-2-1 Relationship Success Sessions this month. During this coaching session, we’ll discuss the key work and personal relationships in your life that give you the most trouble and which you’d just like to make better. We’ll uncover hidden barriers to your relationship success. We’ll get clear on how you’d like your relationships to be. Then I’ll show you how you create the most effective working and rewarding personal relationship. You’ll go away feeling positive, excited and certain about your next steps.
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If you would like to apply for a session, just email me: madeleine@growu.co.uk
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