A quick update
My PhD on the imposter phenomenon, psychological courage and coping strategies was finally completed last year, and I'm delighted (and relieved) to say that I passed my viva without being 'found out'. My own imposter thoughts became louder the closer the date for the examination of my thesis came. However, as so often with imposter thoughts, the views of others were far more positive than my own and my thesis was received in an overwhelmingly positive light by the examiners. I don't think many people wish to wade through an academic thesis (if you do, the link to it is here).
Over the last 12 months I have been turning my thesis into a more readable, digestible book which will be published by Pearson this summer. Here I am sharing a few thoughts and extracts from the book.
Courage and Coping Strategies
One of the questions that struck me when I first came across the term imposter phenomenon was: Why do successful people feel like imposters?
When you are successful, when you have achieved something significant, or when you have gained a promotion, your knowledge, skills and experience grow. Yet we are often too busy moving on to the next task, the next challenge or working hard to cover up our inner securities, that this growth in our knowledge, skills or experience is often not internalised. It is easy to carry on 'as normal' and fail to update our view of ourselves to incorporate our new-found success or skills.
It can also seem preferable to downplay successes rather than acknowledge them to ourselves and to the outside world. This may be because of childhood messages where bragging was frowned upon. Were you told "don't get too big for your boots"? or "nobody likes a smart arse"?
Acknowledging your successes to yourself is not bragging.
Knowing what you are good at is not boastful.
It takes time, reflection, and sometimes courage, to update the view you hold of yourself.
In the wise words of Charlie Mackesy, author of The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse, when the boy was bemoaning the fact that there was still such a long way to go, the horse replied, "yes, but look how far you've come".
Recently, a three day improv course at Bore Place, in the Kent countryside, gave me some much needed time to reflect. When when I started out as a freelance trainer, one of my first self-development activities was an improvisation workshop. Doing another one twenty-five years later provided an ideal opportunity to reflect on the changes, challenges and successes that I have experienced during that period.
Questions, Thoughts & Action
When did you last take time to reflect?
What do you know now that you didn't know this time last month, this time last year?
Stop comparing yourself to others. Start to compare yourself to yourself.
The successes that each of us achieve can be acknowledged on the inside and worn lightly on the outside.
